LJ Idol Week 6, Prompt: Pursuit
Apr. 23rd, 2022 05:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mollywheezyLast week my mom needed to order checks and only wanted her name on them. I couldn’t remember if we had even told the bank about my dad’s death. We took a death certificate to the bank with the intention of getting my dad's name removed from the account. My husband Arthur suggested my mom add me, but she would not hear of it. (Because of course, I am so untrustworthy, I would steal all of her money and run away to Tahiti. Not that she even has enough money to get to Tahiti . . .)
Our bank is actually a credit union. We found out when we spoke to Employee A that my mom is not a member. My dad was a member and my mom had permission to use the account, but was not a member in her own right. The bank couldn't remove his name because then there would be no account, so they were going to have to create an account for my mom. Employee A ran a credit check and said my mom didn't have any credit in her name (since the account was only my dad's) so she needed something with my mom's name and address on it, like a bill. We explained that my mom does not have bills because the apartment is all-inclusive. Employee A itemized every type of bill in existence, until I wanted to scream "What about "all inclusive" do you not understand?! Then she said, "Oh! Well, if you have your lease agreement with you, that would work." Because of course, my mom carries her lease agreement in her purse. I think I managed not to roll my eyes out loud. We left without accomplishing anything and I drove my mom to my house for Banking Drama Part Two.
Arthur and I share Power of Attorney for my mom, so that we can help her with online things and so Arthur can make sure she doesn’t bounce checks. She almost did the last time she bought clothes. He remembered the reason my mom is not a member of the credit union. When my parents moved to Alabama from Missouri my mom’s driver's license expired and they would not accept anything expired as valid identification. Of course her passport was also expired, so the account was only in dad's name. I had forgotten and was thankful as always for Arthur’s help.
Arthur called the bank in Missouri to enable online banking so he could transfer the funds to the bank here and close the account. The bank would not allow Arthur to use the POA unless my mom was in the room and explicitly gave them permission to talk to him. It was good they were trying to prevent fraud, but they didn't understand dealing with my mom. The three of us on speaker phone talked to four different people, going through all of the same identifying rigamarole every time. Apparently, the bank couldn’t enable online banking because my mom did not have a pin number for her debit card. The account never had a debit card, and these bank employees were too young to remember a time without debit cards. (Even today, my mom will constantly say she doesn't have any money, even when holding her debit card. She honestly forgets the card works like cash.) After getting nowhere, Arthur gave up and asked them to close the account and mail my mom a check. Thankfully, they could do that!
The check arrived, and I planned to pick it up and bring it home so Arthur could deposit it remotely. When I saw the check, the bank had put both of my parents' names on it. It didn't explicitly say "and" but it didn't explicitly say "or" either, so I pretended to be my mom and called the bank. The first person I talked to said it would be fine to deposit the check if we showed the death certificate, but she wanted me to talk to her supervisor to make sure. The supervisor said the same thing, but wanted to check with the manager to confirm. The manager bumped me up to the senior vice president of the bank who transferred me to the "Life Events Department" who hung up on me! In all fairness the automated system hung up on me, because heaven forbid, I took two seconds to consider what option I should select. I had the direct phone number for the Life Events Department and called back. I was faster to choose a menu option this time, but did not have the direct extension of the person assigned to help me so could only leave a voicemail or send an email.
I barely managed not to cuss loudly in front of my mother. I talked to Arthur briefly and we agreed to deposit the check. Apparently, all of these bank employees have low self esteem and lack confidence in their ability to give answers. Arthur said he would not deposit the check remotely because if there were a problem, nobody would be available for immediate help.
My mom of course wanted to go to the bank RIGHT THAT SECOND . . . after she put on her makeup.
I said she should find her lease agreement so we would take care of everything at once. She said, "I know right where it is!"
I offered to get it while she put on her makeup and she told me it was in the kitchen drawer or possibly in the heap of things that had fallen out of the drawer which was in the cupboard under the drawer. I looked. There was no paperwork in the drawer, and when I checked the cupboard, there was a receipt, a canceled check, and a grocery list. Nothing else. No heap. I relayed this information to my mom.
She said, "Of course it's there!" And proceeded to get on the floor to look in the cupboard and then could not get up. She did not even trust me enough to believe me that the heap which used to be there was no longer there! I suggested we go the next day because I still needed to get to Costco, which is next door to my mom’s apartment building. She insisted it was in the other place she knew where it was, and she'd go get it as soon as she got off the floor.
She asked me to bring her walker for her so she could get up. I had to climb over her to do that, but did, and then braced her walker so she could pull up. My phone had several texts while this was happening, which I ignored. She couldn't reach the counter to hold on and couldn't get enough leverage from the walker. She said she'd crawl over to the sofa and pull up which is what she would do if I wasn't there. While I was removing her walker from the area, the phone rang. It was Arthur and I practically shrieked at him thinking he had texted me and not given me time to respond. And mom was on the floor . . . WHAT! She's fine. He was calling since he didn't think I had a death certificate with me.I gave one to my mom so she had one there, which we had to go back to get because it wasn't with her the first time we left the apartment. She did actually find the lease agreement but it wasn't this year's lease so hopefully it would work. The lease was in the bag in her closet which contained what was formerly the cupboard heap.
When we went to the bank, Employee B did deposit the check, but said only the main branch can do anything with deaths. She made us an appointment for the next day with the main branch.
What I expected to be Banking Drama Part Three began the next morning. We had an appointment for ten and I was praying the main branch would be the charm. Margaret, our assigned bank employee, met us in the lobby and was warm and welcoming, offering condolences to both of us for my dad’s death. She took us back to her office and quickly became my new favorite person in how efficiently she fixed everything. Employee A should have made an appointment for us with the main branch in the first place because she did not have authorization to do what was needed. Margaret did not need to see a lease agreement and rolled her eyes that Employee A had wanted one, saying that was “ridiculous” and my mom’s non-driver identification was sufficient. Margaret convinced my mom to put me on the account, and my mom agreed, which was a miracle. My mom admitted that when her name was on her dad’s account after her mom died, the checks were always questioned whenever she wrote one, and she didn’t want that again. Margaret assured her I could be on the account without having my name on the checks, and it would make it much easier for me to help her with things, or to take care of things for her if anything happened. The third time–the main branch– was the charm! Our pursuit of zero drama correct banking was finally completed by The Magnificent Margaret!
Our bank is actually a credit union. We found out when we spoke to Employee A that my mom is not a member. My dad was a member and my mom had permission to use the account, but was not a member in her own right. The bank couldn't remove his name because then there would be no account, so they were going to have to create an account for my mom. Employee A ran a credit check and said my mom didn't have any credit in her name (since the account was only my dad's) so she needed something with my mom's name and address on it, like a bill. We explained that my mom does not have bills because the apartment is all-inclusive. Employee A itemized every type of bill in existence, until I wanted to scream "What about "all inclusive" do you not understand?! Then she said, "Oh! Well, if you have your lease agreement with you, that would work." Because of course, my mom carries her lease agreement in her purse. I think I managed not to roll my eyes out loud. We left without accomplishing anything and I drove my mom to my house for Banking Drama Part Two.
Arthur and I share Power of Attorney for my mom, so that we can help her with online things and so Arthur can make sure she doesn’t bounce checks. She almost did the last time she bought clothes. He remembered the reason my mom is not a member of the credit union. When my parents moved to Alabama from Missouri my mom’s driver's license expired and they would not accept anything expired as valid identification. Of course her passport was also expired, so the account was only in dad's name. I had forgotten and was thankful as always for Arthur’s help.
Arthur called the bank in Missouri to enable online banking so he could transfer the funds to the bank here and close the account. The bank would not allow Arthur to use the POA unless my mom was in the room and explicitly gave them permission to talk to him. It was good they were trying to prevent fraud, but they didn't understand dealing with my mom. The three of us on speaker phone talked to four different people, going through all of the same identifying rigamarole every time. Apparently, the bank couldn’t enable online banking because my mom did not have a pin number for her debit card. The account never had a debit card, and these bank employees were too young to remember a time without debit cards. (Even today, my mom will constantly say she doesn't have any money, even when holding her debit card. She honestly forgets the card works like cash.) After getting nowhere, Arthur gave up and asked them to close the account and mail my mom a check. Thankfully, they could do that!
The check arrived, and I planned to pick it up and bring it home so Arthur could deposit it remotely. When I saw the check, the bank had put both of my parents' names on it. It didn't explicitly say "and" but it didn't explicitly say "or" either, so I pretended to be my mom and called the bank. The first person I talked to said it would be fine to deposit the check if we showed the death certificate, but she wanted me to talk to her supervisor to make sure. The supervisor said the same thing, but wanted to check with the manager to confirm. The manager bumped me up to the senior vice president of the bank who transferred me to the "Life Events Department" who hung up on me! In all fairness the automated system hung up on me, because heaven forbid, I took two seconds to consider what option I should select. I had the direct phone number for the Life Events Department and called back. I was faster to choose a menu option this time, but did not have the direct extension of the person assigned to help me so could only leave a voicemail or send an email.
I barely managed not to cuss loudly in front of my mother. I talked to Arthur briefly and we agreed to deposit the check. Apparently, all of these bank employees have low self esteem and lack confidence in their ability to give answers. Arthur said he would not deposit the check remotely because if there were a problem, nobody would be available for immediate help.
My mom of course wanted to go to the bank RIGHT THAT SECOND . . . after she put on her makeup.
I said she should find her lease agreement so we would take care of everything at once. She said, "I know right where it is!"
I offered to get it while she put on her makeup and she told me it was in the kitchen drawer or possibly in the heap of things that had fallen out of the drawer which was in the cupboard under the drawer. I looked. There was no paperwork in the drawer, and when I checked the cupboard, there was a receipt, a canceled check, and a grocery list. Nothing else. No heap. I relayed this information to my mom.
She said, "Of course it's there!" And proceeded to get on the floor to look in the cupboard and then could not get up. She did not even trust me enough to believe me that the heap which used to be there was no longer there! I suggested we go the next day because I still needed to get to Costco, which is next door to my mom’s apartment building. She insisted it was in the other place she knew where it was, and she'd go get it as soon as she got off the floor.
She asked me to bring her walker for her so she could get up. I had to climb over her to do that, but did, and then braced her walker so she could pull up. My phone had several texts while this was happening, which I ignored. She couldn't reach the counter to hold on and couldn't get enough leverage from the walker. She said she'd crawl over to the sofa and pull up which is what she would do if I wasn't there. While I was removing her walker from the area, the phone rang. It was Arthur and I practically shrieked at him thinking he had texted me and not given me time to respond. And mom was on the floor . . . WHAT! She's fine. He was calling since he didn't think I had a death certificate with me.I gave one to my mom so she had one there, which we had to go back to get because it wasn't with her the first time we left the apartment. She did actually find the lease agreement but it wasn't this year's lease so hopefully it would work. The lease was in the bag in her closet which contained what was formerly the cupboard heap.
When we went to the bank, Employee B did deposit the check, but said only the main branch can do anything with deaths. She made us an appointment for the next day with the main branch.
What I expected to be Banking Drama Part Three began the next morning. We had an appointment for ten and I was praying the main branch would be the charm. Margaret, our assigned bank employee, met us in the lobby and was warm and welcoming, offering condolences to both of us for my dad’s death. She took us back to her office and quickly became my new favorite person in how efficiently she fixed everything. Employee A should have made an appointment for us with the main branch in the first place because she did not have authorization to do what was needed. Margaret did not need to see a lease agreement and rolled her eyes that Employee A had wanted one, saying that was “ridiculous” and my mom’s non-driver identification was sufficient. Margaret convinced my mom to put me on the account, and my mom agreed, which was a miracle. My mom admitted that when her name was on her dad’s account after her mom died, the checks were always questioned whenever she wrote one, and she didn’t want that again. Margaret assured her I could be on the account without having my name on the checks, and it would make it much easier for me to help her with things, or to take care of things for her if anything happened. The third time–the main branch– was the charm! Our pursuit of zero drama correct banking was finally completed by The Magnificent Margaret!
no subject
Date: 2022-04-24 04:27 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-04-29 06:30 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-04-24 11:46 am (UTC)no subject
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Date: 2022-04-29 06:39 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-04-29 08:45 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-04-30 04:30 pm (UTC)And exactly, grief is hard enough without all the other stuff to deal with.
no subject
Date: 2022-04-27 01:23 am (UTC)I'm so glad you were there to help her. Things really are confusing and some people don't have kids near by who understand how the world works.
Even just the whole trying to get around her and get her off the floor etc..wow. You must have a lot of patience!
I'm impressed your mom has a non-driver ID. We are already concerned about how to get my mom to stop driving..
Hugs to you. Nothing is ever easy, it sounds like..
no subject
Date: 2022-04-29 06:44 pm (UTC)My mom had a stroke in 2017 that damaged her vision, so there was no question of her driving again. You might want to get a non-family member on your side, like your mom's pastor if she has one, and get them to have the conversation with her. I have done that for church members, but my mom would never have listened to me. I'm not glad she had a stroke, of course, but it was a silver lining that she had to stop driving no conversation needed. *HUGS back*
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Date: 2022-04-29 01:27 am (UTC)- Erulisse (one L)
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Date: 2022-04-29 06:46 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-04-29 02:52 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-04-29 06:49 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-05-02 08:50 pm (UTC)It's also pretty telling that you got all the way to the last paragraph before someone offered condolences (unless I missed it). Sorry that you lost your father and also had to deal with this rigmarole.
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Date: 2022-05-03 03:42 pm (UTC)And yes, condolences were rather belatedly offered.
Thank you!
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Date: 2022-05-03 05:11 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-05-03 09:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2022-05-03 09:39 pm (UTC)