LJ Idol Week 7, Prompt Hikokomori
Aug. 22nd, 2024 08:19 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mollywheezyDuring the pandemic, I was working as a hospice chaplain. I was considered an essential employee, so I was still able to visit my patients who wanted me to visit. No one in hospice is ever forced to accept visits, pandemic or no. Since I am an off the charts extrovert, still being allowed people time was a very good thing for me. I had to wear full personal protective equipment (PPE) including a gown, gloves, a face shield, paper booties over my shoes, and an N-95 respirator. When all geared up, I was good to go for seeing people.
My husband Peter, on the other hand, was stuck working from home by himself. He is also extroverted, although not as extreme as me. When I would come home from work, he would be hanging out the door into the garage waiting for me to pull in. On days that were particularly bad, he would meet me at the car and follow me into the bathroom. I knew he was lonely and having a hard time so I didn't have the heart to tell him I really wanted to pee by myself. There are limits to my extroversion.
Our church went completely online. Our Sunday routine became that while Peter set up the livestream from the ton of equipment that lived at our house, I would drive across town to pick up my parents and bring them over to watch online church and have lunch afterwards. Since I am an only child and sole caregiver for my parents, we were allowed to be part of the same bubble.
After a few months, Peter and I began having “driveway dinners” with our friends. We could sit outside and be socially distanced and still at least talk and see each other in person.
This very limited human contact continued for more than a year, until I was fired from my job. Suddenly I was no longer an essential employee, and even if patients wanted me to visit as a friend rather than a hospice chaplain, I was no longer allowed into the facilities where they lived. I missed my patients and, this may sound strange, but I really missed their pets! Peter and I had a cockatiel named Sullie who died in 2018. She was our sweet baby girl, and while I was ready to open my heart again to a non-human family member, Peter was not. I got my non-human cuddle fix from patients’ pets. And then could no longer see them.
My dad had fallen and broken his hip, so our Sunday schedule changed. I would go to my parents’ apartment to watch online worship with them and Peter would join us afterwards for lunch. Our church reopened for in person worship with masks a month after I was fired, but I continued going to my parents’ apartment to watch online church with them since my dad was unable to get out.
Actually, my weekday schedule changed too. Since I wasn’t employed, my mom decided I could spend every minute of every day with them, caring for my dad, since, as she said, I “had nothing better to do.” I was always glad to spend time with my dad. My mom, not so much.
We continued this arrangement for a couple of months until Peter said to me, “Sweetie, you’re getting weird.”
“I’m getting weird?!”
“Okay, point taken. You’re getting weird-ER and not in a good way. You need to see people who aren’t your parents.”
He was right, so I spent a couple of days teaching my mom how to get to YouTube to watch church. My mom is the most tech-challenged person I know, so this was a miracle I managed to teach her. And even better, she actually managed to watch church with my dad without me there for tech support! I told her we would bring lunch over after church, so they would still get a visit, but I could go to church.
Even masked, being around people to whom I was not related was a balm to my soul and cured my getting more weird, not in the good way.
My husband Peter, on the other hand, was stuck working from home by himself. He is also extroverted, although not as extreme as me. When I would come home from work, he would be hanging out the door into the garage waiting for me to pull in. On days that were particularly bad, he would meet me at the car and follow me into the bathroom. I knew he was lonely and having a hard time so I didn't have the heart to tell him I really wanted to pee by myself. There are limits to my extroversion.
Our church went completely online. Our Sunday routine became that while Peter set up the livestream from the ton of equipment that lived at our house, I would drive across town to pick up my parents and bring them over to watch online church and have lunch afterwards. Since I am an only child and sole caregiver for my parents, we were allowed to be part of the same bubble.
After a few months, Peter and I began having “driveway dinners” with our friends. We could sit outside and be socially distanced and still at least talk and see each other in person.
This very limited human contact continued for more than a year, until I was fired from my job. Suddenly I was no longer an essential employee, and even if patients wanted me to visit as a friend rather than a hospice chaplain, I was no longer allowed into the facilities where they lived. I missed my patients and, this may sound strange, but I really missed their pets! Peter and I had a cockatiel named Sullie who died in 2018. She was our sweet baby girl, and while I was ready to open my heart again to a non-human family member, Peter was not. I got my non-human cuddle fix from patients’ pets. And then could no longer see them.
My dad had fallen and broken his hip, so our Sunday schedule changed. I would go to my parents’ apartment to watch online worship with them and Peter would join us afterwards for lunch. Our church reopened for in person worship with masks a month after I was fired, but I continued going to my parents’ apartment to watch online church with them since my dad was unable to get out.
Actually, my weekday schedule changed too. Since I wasn’t employed, my mom decided I could spend every minute of every day with them, caring for my dad, since, as she said, I “had nothing better to do.” I was always glad to spend time with my dad. My mom, not so much.
We continued this arrangement for a couple of months until Peter said to me, “Sweetie, you’re getting weird.”
“I’m getting weird?!”
“Okay, point taken. You’re getting weird-ER and not in a good way. You need to see people who aren’t your parents.”
He was right, so I spent a couple of days teaching my mom how to get to YouTube to watch church. My mom is the most tech-challenged person I know, so this was a miracle I managed to teach her. And even better, she actually managed to watch church with my dad without me there for tech support! I told her we would bring lunch over after church, so they would still get a visit, but I could go to church.
Even masked, being around people to whom I was not related was a balm to my soul and cured my getting more weird, not in the good way.
