LJ Idol Week 7, Prompt Hikokomori

[mollywheezy]

During the pandemic, I was working as a hospice chaplain. I was considered an essential employee, so I was still able to visit my patients who wanted me to visit. No one in hospice is ever forced to accept visits, pandemic or no. Since I am an off the charts extrovert, still being allowed people time was a very good thing for me. I had to wear full personal protective equipment (PPE) including a gown, gloves, a face shield, paper booties over my shoes, and an N-95 respirator. When all geared up, I was good to go for seeing people.

My husband Peter, on the other hand, was stuck working from home by himself. He is also extroverted, although not as extreme as me. When I would come home from work, he would be hanging out the door into the garage waiting for me to pull in. On days that were particularly bad, he would meet me at the car and follow me into the bathroom. I knew he was lonely and having a hard time so I didn't have the heart to tell him I really wanted to pee by myself. There are limits to my extroversion.

Our church went completely online. Our Sunday routine became that while Peter set up the livestream from the ton of equipment that lived at our house, I would drive across town to pick up my parents and bring them over to watch online church and have lunch afterwards. Since I am an only child and sole caregiver for my parents, we were allowed to be part of the same bubble.

After a few months, Peter and I began having “driveway dinners” with our friends. We could sit outside and be socially distanced and still at least talk and see each other in person.

This very limited human contact continued for more than a year, until I was fired from my job. Suddenly I was no longer an essential employee, and even if patients wanted me to visit as a friend rather than a hospice chaplain, I was no longer allowed into the facilities where they lived. I missed my patients and, this may sound strange, but I really missed their pets! Peter and I had a cockatiel named Sullie who died in 2018. She was our sweet baby girl, and while I was ready to open my heart again to a non-human family member, Peter was not. I got my non-human cuddle fix from patients’ pets. And then could no longer see them.

My dad had fallen and broken his hip, so our Sunday schedule changed. I would go to my parents’ apartment to watch online worship with them and Peter would join us afterwards for lunch. Our church reopened for in person worship with masks a month after I was fired, but I continued going to my parents’ apartment to watch online church with them since my dad was unable to get out.

Actually, my weekday schedule changed too. Since I wasn’t employed, my mom decided I could spend every minute of every day with them, caring for my dad, since, as she said, I “had nothing better to do.” I was always glad to spend time with my dad. My mom, not so much.

We continued this arrangement for a couple of months until Peter said to me, “Sweetie, you’re getting weird.”

“I’m getting weird?!”

“Okay, point taken. You’re getting weird-ER and not in a good way. You need to see people who aren’t your parents.”

He was right, so I spent a couple of days teaching my mom how to get to YouTube to watch church. My mom is the most tech-challenged person I know, so this was a miracle I managed to teach her. And even better, she actually managed to watch church with my dad without me there for tech support! I told her we would bring lunch over after church, so they would still get a visit, but I could go to church.

Even masked, being around people to whom I was not related was a balm to my soul and cured my getting more weird, not in the good way.

Comments

[chasing_silver]

COVID was such a weird fever-dream time. I feel like I changed irrevocably during lockdown. I've never really explored it, but I love reading posts from people who are. This was awesome.

[mollywheezy]

Thank you very much!

[adoptedwriter]

COVID times were weird, for sure. It made everyone quirky. I can understand missing the pets as much (or more) than some people!

[mollywheezy]

Thanks for reading and commenting!

[fausts_dream]

I don't think I have been so lonely I wanted to follow someone to the bathroom, but it sums up the weirdness of the time. I am sorry your patients (clients? flock?) were deprived of you and you of them and their precious livestock.

Glad we are all doing better. Nice slice of life entry.

[mollywheezy]

Yeah, my husband sort of freaked me out with that. I was worried about him.

I called them patients, but any of your terms would work.

I'm glad, too. Thank you!

[xeena]

I really hate being alone and this resonated a lot with me!

[mollywheezy]

Even though I'm more extroverted than my husband is, he is less able to be alone. I'm guessing because I'm an only child and he has three siblings. I don't like being alone either. Thank you!

[xeena]

Even though I'm more extroverted than my husband is, he is less able to be alone.
I'm guessing because I'm an only child and he has three siblings. I don't like being alone either. Ooh that's so interesting. I'm more of an extroverted person too. I actually enjoy talking to strangers too, unlike most people I know, which has led to some peculiar situations at times, lol (I should write an entry about some of them one time tbh). Like you I grew up an only child, though I should have been a twin! I actually think this is one reason I really don't like being alone, I never have, even as a child. I envied my friend, who like your husband had three siblings! People usually find it weird that I don't like being by myself when they find out I'm an only child and I feel like there are a lot of weird misconceptions about only children being super introverted or anti social!

[mollywheezy]

I also like to talk to strangers, lol. In my experience, only children can be extroverts or introverts with about as much frequency as the rest of the population. My mom is actually an extreme introvert.

[xeena]

Yesss a fellow person who likes talking to strangers 😄 everyone I know it feels like really doesn't like it/thinks I'm weird for it whereas I love random conversations while out and about. Like yeah tbh sometimes you do get a creepy guy but I've had some really cool interactions with strangers over the years.
I don't know many only children tbh the few I do know are also very introverted like your mom! People really seem to act shocked when I say I'm not fond of being alone and am an only child which I honestly don't get tbh because as you said, only children have as much chance as being I introverted or extroverted as anyone else!

[roina_arwen]

Covid was a weird time. I'm glad you were able to be there for your parents, and yay for teaching mom how to do YouTube!

[mollywheezy]

It really was. Teaching my mom how to do YouTube was probably my biggest accomplishment of the decade with how technologically challenged she is, lol.

[muchtooarrogant]

I loved the image of your husband hanging out the door to the garage, waiting for you to pull in. LOL I work from home, and unless I'm busy generally go out to the garage to meet my wife and daughter when they get home. (They work together.) I try to give her space in the bathroom though. (grin)

Dan

[mollywheezy]

Thanks! LOL, my husband doesn't meet me in the garage now or follow me into the bathroom, unless he has a question that needs an immediate answer, lol.

[static_abyss]

Social distancing times really did a number on all of us, I feel. I know for me, not seeing out family was the hardest part as I'm more of an introvert and I didn't mind being at home. But I can imagine that it would be difficult for an extrovert who is used to being around people to suddenly find themselves stuck at home ot limited with who they could interact with.

[mollywheezy]

It really did. We weren't able to see my husband's family for almost 2 years which was hard, especially not seeing our nieces and nephews. For kids, 2 years is forever.

I was still able to extrovert since I was an essential employee, but yeah, my husband had to invent ways to get out of the house and go see people. He started going to the drive-thru for lunch just to get some human contact.

[halfshellvenus]

I always thought the driveway dinners were a good compromise of socializing while remaining careful. The pandemic was hard on everyone, but so much harder on extroverts!

[mollywheezy]

The driveway dinners saved us! We had to move into the garage with the door open in winter, and put a space heater by our friend who's always cold. ;)

[pixiebelle]

Covid was such a weird time. My husband still hasn’t had to return to the office. At first he struggled but now he prefers it - he’s an introvert though. He has gotten weirder though lol

[mollywheezy]

My husband had the of returning to the office or not. He manages a team where half his people chose to stay home and half came back to the office full time, so he splits his time between the office and home, usually going in three days per week.

[rayaso]

I love the idea of driveway dinners! Covid was so hard on personal relationships, but especially for extroverts.

[mollywheezy]

Thank you! And yes, it was.

[reidharriscooper]

I sometimes feel my Covid experience was so much different than others. How? I don't know.
I'm glad you were able to still find ways to have the world you were used to under circumstances out of your control.

[mollywheezy]

Thank you!

[inkstainedfingertips]

ha ha. As an introvert, COVID was like a dream for me. But I have heard plenty of stories like yours. I am glad you were able to cure your increasing weirdness. ha ha.

[mollywheezy]

Thanks! :)

[alycewilson]

COVID was such a weird experience. I was back into the swing of things within a few months, when the YMCA reopened, but my husband has been a stay-at-home worker since the earliest days of the shutdown. I've gotten used to it, but I've realized that his constant video meetings are his way of interacting with people outside the family. Somedays, I'd just like some quiet, though!

[mollywheezy]

We had to adjust to my husband working from home. I was used to being home before he was and would play the piano for a break after work, but unfortunately my piano is too close to his office and even playing quietly he couldn't hear his meetings. I'm not good enough that people in his meetings would want to hear me, lol.

[murielle]

Thank you so much for sharing your life with us.

I always imagined the lockdowns and restrictions must have been awful for extroverts, and you confirmed this. Thank you. I'm so sorry you lost your job. So sorry.

Again, thank you for these wonderful glimpses into your world. ❤😊❤

[mollywheezy]

You're welcome! :) I'm glad you are enjoying the glimpses into my life. Thank you for reading and commenting!

[bleodswean]

Your husband is a treasure! Such a horrid time and a lot of us got "weird"! I'm glad you found a workaround and began to be yourself again. Lol to "getting weird?"!!! Hahahaha!

[mollywheezy]

My husband is absolutely a treasure! Glad I could make you laugh. :) Thanks for reading and commenting!

[tonithegreat]

Congrats on teaching a tech challenged parent how to find the church You Tube! And on knowing what you needed in terms of social time and working toward it- both can be considerable challenges, I feel.

[mollywheezy]

Teaching my mom to get to YouTube was probably my accomplishment of the decade, lol.